What a time to be online…
In a twist that sounds straight out of a sitcom, a senior US Navy enlisted leader has been demoted after getting caught red-handed running an illegal Starlink WiFi network on a warship — and naming it “STINKY.”
Grisel Marrero, the former command senior chief of the USS Manchester, apparently decided that the ship’s mission needed a little more connectivity. So, during a deployment in 2023, she took matters into her own hands, installing a Starlink network on the down-low and using a leadership association’s debit card to foot the bill. After all, who doesn’t want high-speed internet while sailing the high seas?
But the real kicker? Marrero dubbed her secret network “STINKY.” Perhaps she thought the name would throw off any would-be WiFi sleuths — but alas, it did not.
According to a Navy charge sheet seen by Business Insider, Marrero went to great lengths to keep her covert connection under wraps. She lied to her commanders and even falsified records to cover up “STINKY’s” existence. But you can only deny WiFi envy for so long.
The jig was up on May 29, when Marrero was demoted from senior chief petty officer to chief petty officer after being found guilty of dereliction of duty and, ironically, providing “false” official statements about the very technology designed to tell the truth.
New details from a Navy Times report reveal just how deep the “STINKY” operation went. Marrero, along with a few fellow chiefs, worked in secret to install the $1,000-a-month Starlink setup on the Manchester. They even made use of a blanket “aloft” period when no one was keeping tabs, sneakily installing the dish on the weather deck like WiFi pirates.
Though Marrero initially paid $2,800 for the Starlink dish and kit out of her own pocket, the monthly bills were a team effort — with the costs conveniently split among the chief’s mess and paid for using a Chief Petty Officer Association debit card. Who knew running a secret WiFi network could be a group bonding activity?
But all good things must come to an end. When junior sailors and commanding officers started catching whiffs of “STINKY” on the ship’s network, Marrero tried to play it cool, denying any knowledge of the rogue connection. She stuck to her story through three separate inquiries between July and August 2023, insisting there was no WiFi onboard.
However, the Navy isn’t easily fooled, and Marrero’s WiFi scheme eventually came crashing down. The moral of the story? If you’re going to run an underground WiFi network on a warship, maybe don’t name it after something that smells.
Ok now that that is out of the way: How about we do a list of better WiFi names than STINKY? Ok I’ll go first! Comment in the chat and I’ll add some of my favorites!
-Marvin’s Router, Tech Care, What a Time to Be Online, God’s LAN, Pretty Girls Like Fiber,
0 To 1 Gig Real Quick, Break Up With UR WiFi, Cable Ties, One LAN, Feel No Delays, Started with DSL, Stream Now Download Later, Know Your Speed, Hold on – We’re Buffering, Stream for What, Hotline Stream. Okay that’s it for now – no wait, there’s more! No Streaming , To the Max, Keep the Wifi Close, Summer SixStream, Champagne Router, No Fiber (ft Nicki Minaj), No New Fiber, No Long Cables, I’m the Plug, Fall for your Ethernet. OK, it’s your turn!
A penny for your thoughts? Let us know in the comments below, or click here to post in the TicTech Forums. Did you see the Navy fighting pirates? Find an oddly placed Starlink? Did you find One Piece on the high seas? Come up with some cool WiFi router names? Tweet me at @TicTechX
